But like a stool with only two legs, dyads are unstable. Both members of a dyad must work to keep the relationship going; if either withdraws, the group collapses. More often the two persons involved in the dyad may have same or different bigger groups. For me, the same groups where the dyad has might get affected by the dyad itself.
The Dyad Has Collapsed
I used to be in a dyad. A very treasurable friendship I ever had. I read my friend's blog yesterday, one of her posts started with : You used to be someone close to me. Yes, darling. This is what I wanted to tell you. I dared not to post anything obvious about both of us. But now I do. I don't want to care about whether it is offensive or not. I just want to share because this is what I've been thinking till then since we were apart from each other.
Looking back, I still don't know what the heck had happened that caused this. Was it because I dated someone you didn't think he was good for me? Was it the makeup I started to put on my face where we used to say that makeup isn't good? Was it I started to dress up going to pub where we used to discuss about it? Was it I danced with my friends that I seemed so murah? Was it....... You tell me. This is what I always struggle about.
Hell man, the time we spent together, the interests we had and this and that were massive. We sat together in the class for years, we wasted our time in the toilet during the class, we did a lot of phucking lame and funny things, we made our owned hats, we shared the chlorophyll water... Uncountable. Remember there was a post about friendship that lasts long? The notes listed every specific statements like your family knows about him/her, bought/wore the same cloths, travel together,etc. Hey girl, we did all these. We did all these. And what now? Look at us? #Sigh
I wonder if all these started with misunderstanding. Within the time, I frustrated. I really pissed off for sometimes, thinking that I don't care about you, no more, thinking that you don't worth my attention. HELL NO! C'mon. The friendship we built ain't unreal. I eventually care and you eventually worth.
Frankly speaking, I doubt about “你要咩？”. Am I making you ashamed to be named in the public? I don't like the hints that you made in the facebook, seriously. It is phucking hurt. You name everyone but not me. You wish everyone but not me. You tag everyone but not me. And at the meantime, you may text me (once in a blue moon). What do I supposed to think? Let me know? Who the heck am I to you? Right now. It seemed like you don't want people to know that you're still connecting with me or you're looking for me.
As I said from the above, "More often the two persons involved in the dyad may have same or different bigger groups. For me, the same groups where the dyad has might get affected by the dyad itself."I don't know whether it is linked or I'm being suspicious/oversensitive, a bit by bit, I did blame you for losing our friends. Recalling, it seemed like I was the leaver when I wasn't one. I know, everyone thought that. And I don't know what to say but our friends went to you but not me. The dyad collapsed and the big group I was kicked. You will never know how hard my time was. It was dreadful, it was intolerable. Guess what? While I met some of them in the shopping malls, on the road, or in the train, what we did to each other was just a smile. Like Stranger A smiles at Stranger B. You got me? You got that image? How awful can that be? I sometimes commented on one of our friends' facebook, more often I got omitted. And now, what I dare to do is to like, only. That's all. I never been looked for from any one of them. Do I deserve this? I'm your friend people. Don't you remember? :'(
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